I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
