K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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