Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
the liver wants what the liver wants
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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