I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
