he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
