Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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