do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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