so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
