what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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