Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
I need to sanitize my soul.
They have beer where we have blood.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
