I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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