Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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