you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
