tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
