Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
