Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
