I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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