She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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