I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
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