from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
