why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
