How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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