So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
do herpes really smell.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
