Please, let me fuck your mom
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
