You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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