google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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