So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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