I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Found the puke drawer
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
