She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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