yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
