you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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