I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Randomize
