How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
