i can't believe i had my finger in that
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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