you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I just sucked dick on a ferry
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