I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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