i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
