You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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