She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
