doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Randomize
