he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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