I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
