Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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