I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
