So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
