Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
