Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
