Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
