the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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