somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize