i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
