I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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