My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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