Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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