if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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