Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize