dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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