I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
