I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Terrible idea I love it
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
