I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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