I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
third nipple confirmed
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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