That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
