I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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