i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Randomize
