I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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