it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
