I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
