trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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