Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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