your thong is hanging out like whoa
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
im holly from the hills drunk
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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