just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
