i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
