please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
