This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
