He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize