at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
