Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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