It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
