all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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