I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
