she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
they're like a gay fantastic four
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Holy shit dude........stairs
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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