Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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