Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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