WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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