last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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