literally had 100 drinks last night.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
