You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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